I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It was confusing and full of hummus
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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