rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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