Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
