In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
