I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
