Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
