Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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