is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
