i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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