just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
