Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
