I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have feelings that need drinking.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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