imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
