I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
