We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
