So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Actions speak louder than pants.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Drunk is not a location!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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