i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
