he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
