I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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