you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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