she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
