The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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