she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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