He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
