I'm drive I can fine osifer
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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