That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
