Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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