His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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