last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
