It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
