All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Randomize