He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
