I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just blew my weed a kiss
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
