I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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