Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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