Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
