You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
