Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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