Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
