last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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