Your dad touched me again.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
