thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
