Having a random hookup so left but love u
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
