You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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