OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
