So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
