that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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