So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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