Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
there is glitter all over my balls
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
