4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
