I wish I only lived at night.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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