About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
