What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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