i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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