Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
