mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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